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Gettin' Gummi Drunk
Tue 11th Nov
Gummi bears. Food of the gods. If only there was a way to combine their inate deliciousness with the inebriating power of hard liquor. WELL NOW THERE IS!
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It's pleasing to see the youth of today taking global warming seriously. Good on you, being kind to mother na....oh, wait. Turns out you're a total douche instead. Well done.
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Quite possibly the biggest reason to hate the appearance of the winter months, that and the fact that all the bikinis have gone into hibernation... If you are unemployed however, this will make no sense!
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Even superheroes are feeling the burn in these austere times, and it just sickens me to the bat teeth. Gone are the days when the Batman would pimp it out in his turbo-charged vehicle. Dark knight days, indeed.
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Kids, they are humanities last hope, lets hope they work hard and play HARDER! I really hope my children grow up to be as awesome as this.
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Trying to impress chicks with your new smartphone ends in presidential FAIL! Putin is practically a James Bond villain. all he needs is a Persian cat and sharks with lazer beams!
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Justin Bieber. Will the interet ever get tired of picking on him? I truly hope not. If anyone deserves it, it's this kid. Seriously.
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If you've ever had support for PETA then you won't after reading this damning indictment of them. They sound like a bunch of psychotic terrorists who don't so much value the lives of animals as are completely insane.
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Looking out of your bedroom window at night and seeing a snowman might not be such a big deal, but you might want to re-evaluate your reasoning if you happen to sleep on the 2nd floor - WTF!?!
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So, just where did the inspiration come from behind the profound lyrics in Rebecca Black's track "Friday"? What other song in the popular music canon makes reference to the minutiae of a week day? Hmmm...
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When someone says to a woman, "Put your face on", it isn't just a figure of speech. So be careful the next time you meet up with a cute girl, lurking beneath the pretty face could be Steve Buscemi.
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