The 'Not Quite' Human Centipede

In a world gone mad with a demand for films about people joined at the butt, the latest viral Marketing campaign for 'Human Centipede 2' is getting out of hand.

If animals could text the world would be a much different place. Well, not really, it'd be pretty much exactly the same except you'd need to pay for your pet's phonebills as well as your own. F#ck that.

I'm really not sure what's going on here, i mean, it looks like the trainer has brought him his favourite pudding and everything? There's no pleasing some animals!

If you were bored at home & posted an update to your FB account that if you got 300 likes you'd go into school the next day dressed in a dress (boys only) with full make-up, would have the balls to actually do it?

Ah the mushroom. Always a drag. Unless of course it's a purple ringer, then it's all fun and games!

The uses for a hastily photoshopped-in image of Silver medalist McKayla Maroney's myspace face are endless. If you think you can do better, fire up photoshop and get busy. I'll never get tired of this!

You probably thought that "got ya nose" was funny. He didn't think so. He didn't think so at all and he wants that sh#t back, pronto. Be afraid.

Hey, if I was a bird I'd totally hitch a ride. Maybe not on a big predatory looking bastard like this, I don't wanna end up as his dinner. Still, pretty dope tho.

He fits!... barely

Pictures of the secret North Korean missile test have recently been smuggled to the west. Seems there is about as much to be afraid of as there was with Saddam.

If only life were this simple. Someone really needs to figure out the whole portals thing as soon as possible. We could easily solve most of life's problems!