Confucius Say!

Listen very carefully to the old Chinese Sage's pearls of total wisdom! "Man who run behind bus get exhausted, man who run in front of bus get tired."

We all have friends of the opposite sex, right? You know the kind, the one you pour your soul out to when you are drunk and keep an eye on when she is drunk...and the 'other' things that friends with benefits share.

The government has us all in the palm of its collective hand... instead of president, Obama should been elected to the office of pivot man... A lot more people would pay attention to politics if this happened more often.

Poor Steven, someone should have told him that 'Rule number 1' when it comes to Facebook is always keeping your password safe. When it falls into the wrong hands (your friends) all kinds of things can happen. Epic.

Guess how much is spent fighting terrorism in the wars of Iraq & Afghanistan and guess how much is spent fighting cancer? Now guess how many people die of cancer a year & how many people die of terrorist attacks?

That bench should REALLY be leanin' and rockin' wit it.

A typical sight in the motherland - every man who goes out for groceries must wear skin tight lycra in the most garish colors available. The velour and painful looking butt wedgie are optional though.

If you think about it pulling the early shift at a hotel does have some serious advantages, you get to tidy up the carnage from the night before. Now to just drag them to the janitors closet...

Obviously, for some(?) people this must happen every day, but for the normal cat community an image like this is definitely residing in the 'WTF' zone!?! I wonder what he wants as a reward?

Ones does not simply walk into Mordor. First you need to go get yourself a nice big sun-hat and a couple of thousand gallons of the strongest sunblock money can buy. Otherwise you'll end up looking like jerky.

This takes the concept of an overly attached girlfriend to a whole new level. Also, why the hell did she choose that font? It's butters, yo.