10,000ft Grope

What is the planet coming to? It's outrageous, wherever you jump out of a pefectly good plane nowadays you just can't seem to topless skydive in peace any more. For shame.

Worried that you might be cast out from the flock for owning a 'SO yesterday' iPhone 4 and haven't got enough cash to upgrade? Well fear not, for under one buck you can be the envy of all your lesser iPhone 4 buddies.

If only life were this simple. Someone really needs to figure out the whole portals thing as soon as possible. We could easily solve most of life's problems!

Books, remember them, they were made from trees and had pages that contained words, you read them, turned the pages and a story would unfold. Weird, right? They really don't write them like they used to anymore.

You can just imagine the sky-shattering cry erupting from this little dude's lungs. Give him another year and he'll be head first in the mosh pit breaking people's noses and smashing their skulls with the power of Beelzebub.

Ewww! What's going on here? It's like a tranny Barbie doll with a huge strap-on. That's going to send the kids a confusing and, frankly, disturbing message. What next, Ken dolls with a hole in his crotch? Great Christ.

This brought back memories of hours of irritating my parents by constantly boinging this magical door stop spring!

This girl has the hairiest arms I've ever seen! Could you imagine what her legs must look like? Yikes!

The longer you stare at him, the happier he looks. There's no way I could be as happy as this little guy without taking an obscene and frankly dangerous quantity of illegal narcotics.

Well this image should stick with you for awhile. Rattling around inside your mind, haunting you with its unique mix of horror and eerie car crash fascination. Or alternatively you could just nuke it from space.

Most gingers are harmless, though there is a minority that carry with them an inexplicable evil. A darkness that cannot be purged. Those are the ones nightmares are made of.