Rule 63: Bane

This would have made Dark Knight Rises a completely different movie. I somehow doubt Bruce Wayne would mind being beaten silly by this version of Bane. In fact, he'd probably enjoy it. i know I would.

Only joking. You look like you're breaking out in rainbow acne. Looks like a clown finished up on your face. Christ, as if doing this to yourself wasn't bad enough now you take pictures of it? Not cool. Not cool at all.

It's a frightening fact but if you are the father of a 9yr old daughter then the chances are you WILL have to take them & her friends to a Justin Bieber concert, it's only a matter of time :(

Like whoa! That is a big one, huge in fact, she'll be there all day. It's proper hairy though, if she doesn't trim it down now it's going to get out of hand. No one likes an unshaven beaver!

While some people will still support baseless prohibition, nobody can disagree with this. Lego is awesome, and so are drugs. This is a marriage made in druggy heaven.

If animals could text the world would be a much different place. Well, not really, it'd be pretty much exactly the same except you'd need to pay for your pet's phonebills as well as your own. F#ck that.

So you feeling hungry then? We can sort that for you with a tasty Chineese egg - In Dongyang City, locals eat the seasonal "virgin egg" boiled in the urine of virgin boys - OM NOM UGGH!

Oh the sheer joy of a new life coming into this world, it's overwhelming isn't it. A little miracle, I bet you can't wait to craddle it in your arms. It's just so...Oh hang I think I just got a text from my BFF...

This has the vague whiff of racism about it but I can't put my finger on the precise moment or sentiment. Still, It's Abe Lincoln choking out Kanye, so even if it IS racist, it's the kinda racism we can all enjoy.

Everyone's getting all excited about the post-PC age of computing that's about to dawn on us, using cloud technology so we can have access to our computers anywhere we go.

Apparently, he wasn't properly shown how to use the potty..