Never Trust Your Friends

Especially if they tell you that keeping an elephant with irritable bowel syndrome in your basement is a swell idea. If they do I think you're legally entitled to kick them square in the balls.

If you're thinking of getting an iPhone 5 you need to ask yourself a few questions first: Is it a unicorn that can shoot rainbows out its ass? No? Then you really don't need one. Unless there's an app for that.

Just when you thought you had seen it all along comes something even weirder ...... I have a feeling that it's a gonna be a long time before you'll be seeing this at your local hospital, WTF?

They should put this in the Oxford English Dictionary under the word desperation. Dog will do anything for a tasty treat, this one will even lick carpet.

This is something that the whole world needs to know. Send a link to everyone you know. Trust me, this information can only make the world a better place.

If you hadn't heard, Disney have just bought Lucasfilm and are planning a seventh Star Wars Film. Mickey Mouse might not be the best person to do this, but he can't be any worse than George Lucas...

Well, at least all the germs were burnt off during the baking process.. - EW

In the UK they have come up with a simple and radical solution to the bullying problem in schools, it's sage-like advice from douchebags who have obviously never been to sensitivity training.

He's a shoe in for the role of shampoo spokesperson. All you have to do is glance at his long flowing locks and before you know it you're at the store screaming "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!" at the check out girl.

She's recently been on the interwebs looking nervous about signing a fan's picture of her getting out of a car exposing her pussy. Well now we finally get to see what alll the fuss is about - Awwww!

Well, it's not really an advert because cigarette companies aren't allowed to advertise anymore, but if they were this would make an awesome advert. 100 years old and lighting her ciggie from the candles in her cake. What a trooper.