Football Fwiends

They might look big and tough in all that body armour and lycra, but they have feelings too ya'know? If this does happen make sure the guy taking pity isn't a dick, or a called 'A Johnson'.

So you feeling hungry then? We can sort that for you with a tasty Chineese egg - In Dongyang City, locals eat the seasonal "virgin egg" boiled in the urine of virgin boys - OM NOM UGGH!

So long as you noticed this little prank before you began the evacuation of the happy fudge tunnel, you might be alright. Otherwise it's gonna get messy...

It's the war of the wizards and time to sharpen those wands & staffs! It's anyones guess who will win but never forget, plus, after Gandalf leaves the world of the Hobbits and elves, he becomes Mag-feckin-neto!

There are some things that just beg to be imbibed. An ice cold bottle of coke dripping with condensation on a hot day, for example. This is not one of those things. If you were really drunk you might try it for a bet though.

If you're anything like me you probably think that religious artwork could be massively improved with a few Family Guy references throw in there. Guess what. POW. Family Guy Jesus lolz. Enjoy.

When your girl asks whether her makeup looks okay, you say yes. If her face looks like this and she asks, you say yes. It's a hard and fast rule.

Well, this guy should certainly be careful where he blares his music.. and what kind of music it is. - LOL

Most of us know how to drink with aggressive abandon, it comes naturally, evolution took care of that. But most of us don't know how to act when drunk, so we'd all do well to read this and heed the advice.

For those of us hanging on every word of the Book of Revelations, the Mayan calendar, and the quatrains of Nostradamus, shit happens in historical (hysterical?) cycles.

There's an emergency in the building and you have to exit fast, only problem is that to get yourself free means smashing something to bits and the little guy doesn't look too happy about it!?