A Day In Nail's Life

Who knew nails lead such interesting lives? If they have sex, it brings a whole new meaning to getting nailed!

More exciting than watching your first child being born whilst walking on the moon on an IV drip of cocaine, or winning the superbowl & then discovering you have superpowers. Too bad you won't remember it in the morning.

Lets face it, they chew your furniture & shoes, attract dirt like they are magnetized, eat anything and throw up what doesn't seem to get digested and hump the leg of the person who will be the most offended. But. We love them more than words can say.

It saddens me deeply to see how many of these are guys! I thought this crap was only infecting our women. Kill them all with fire.....*WAIT! Make it a stake through the heart, just to be sure!

Tell me, i've always wondered, If you shoot yourself with your phone is that social suicide? I only ask because if you post the results to the interwebs and are not cute enough to make the cut you suffer social death.

Whats better than a beach babe i hear you ask? Well, a well tanned hottie who not only looks awesome in a bikini, but can also ride a surfboard as good as any man - It's enough to make you bury your head in the sand and cry!

What's the one thing that you really look for in a female, think about it, yep, getting warm, it's a smile that can light up a dark room and make you feel special. You know i'm right, eh!? Aren't i?

Not all human beings of the XX chromosome have the urge to do the duckface when they be self-shooting in the bathroom/bedroom mirror. Some reckon that a smile and some tight clothing will just bloody well suffice.

It's always the same, isn't it, especially during the holiday season. You build up expectations in your head about how it will be and then the cold reality of 'how it really is' slaps you in the face. Sigh

Pregnancy is a wonderful time for all involved, a chance for the would-be mother to feel her child growing inside her and the proud father to set up the nest. And of course there are those 'special' photos. Oh dear!

Goes to Christina Hendricks! Thank god someone is trying to bring back this awesomely curvacious look!