You've Heard Of Butt Pirates

But pussy pirates? That's just bloody disgusting! See, this is why ninjas are so much cooler than pirates!

Girls-girls-girls, what the hell do you think you are doing pulling faces like this in attempt to look cuter than you need to be? Someone needs to get these chicks some glasses b4 those expressions stick for life!

When someone says to a woman, "Put your face on", it isn't just a figure of speech. So be careful the next time you meet up with a cute girl, lurking beneath the pretty face could be Steve Buscemi.

If you ever have a new neighbor move in next door and you notice this as his license plate, it might be time to put up the For Sale sign, or at the very least contact the FBI.

When Chuck Norris plays ches he plays to win. Don't even begin to think about challenging him because you will lose before you have even moved the first piece. And don't even think about asking Chuck if that's a legal move.

Even superheroes are feeling the burn in these austere times, and it just sickens me to the bat teeth. Gone are the days when the Batman would pimp it out in his turbo-charged vehicle. Dark knight days, indeed.

He's cooler than a cucumber in a freezer and has a meeow that chicks go wild for. Forget Jim Morrison, this is the cat we all want to be like when we grow up!

I just hope like hell there's at least a gas station or two along the way, this could be a very long trip!

Don't be freaked out by this, it's not like the internet is spying on you while you sit in front of it and fap to the abundance of hot chicks who are all over it. It's just magic, plain simple magic. OMFG!!!

You know from the very first moment you see this cute little fella' that you 'have' to take him home and love him.... Then you read the small-print - you never go full retard!

Finally someone has come up with a way to help curve those terrible homosexual tendencies! The Republicans should hand these out for free in front of gay bars!