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iPhone Etching
If I was ever to get my iPhone engraved this is exactly what I'd want written on it. Somebody buy this man a cookie, he's a freaking comedy genius!
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You ever seen Vin Diesel in The Fast & The Furious film saga, well, thats me, thats exactly how i drive, i live to drive fast, nothing can catch me i'm.... WAIT .... Is that a cop car over there. Damn, better slow down!
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Poor Miley, she's been getting a lot of bad press of late. Better a wild child than a boring prude I say. I wanna see her drunk and enjoying herself.
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If you thought that the death of Steve Jobs would put an end to those Steve & Bill picture memes then you were sadly wrong. Even from beyond the grave Steve will be the butt of Bill's jokes.
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Meth. It'll do more than just damage your motivator. hit it once and if you're unlucky then BAM! You'll be turned into a trash can. Totally not worth it.
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Just because you're always farting, it doesn't mean that your urine can substitute gas.
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We've all heard of the 'Walk Of Sham'e. Now there is a new title that could be bestowed upon you next time you pass out drunk - the Sleep Of Shame! You can't avoid that evidence.
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You know what, i reckon George Orwell onto something when he wrote his classic novel 1984? Is LOLspeak the new Newspeak? Sport in 5... It's almost too scary to contemplate :(
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Jeebus, just what is going on in the world. You look around you and it's just the birds tweeting and people going about their daily business, but what lurks beneath that veneer of normalcy is the ever present threat of bad craziness.
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A REAL perfect girlfriend will never know she holds that title, she will sit with you patiently while you play WOW & not make a fuss when you go out drinking with your buddies. Yep, i must be dreaming again :(
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Be warned, the art of correcting other people's spelling and grammar can have devastating effects on your love-life. This is how Grammar Nazism turns into forever alone-ism.
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