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Valentines Day: The Truth
Sure, if you live in a fictional movie land of faries and happy endings then Valentines day was just the best thing ever! However, if you live in the real world it's slightly different :(
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It's the little things that really matter, forget noming on a seal or dreaming about inviting a penguin over for dinner, what this bear really wants is his T-U-B-E!
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Now all they need to do to make this totally awesome is kidnap a woman, dress her as a slave and chain her to it.
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If it wasn't already dead, it definitely is now. reporting that one celebrity has unfollowed another celebrity as if it is something that should matter to anybody is the sound of journalistic failure.
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This vehicle will go from 0-60 in just over four seconds. Coincidentally that's also how long the battery will last if you turn on the stereo. Sweet ride, bro.
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I don't know about you but while I'm sending a text message I always like to have a little stretch. This chick is totally copying my style.
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Great for worrying penguins and checking out what few icebergs the planet has left. Watch out for Japanese fishing boats though, unless you want to become sushi.
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If you haven't been paying attention up until now and need this summarised in a single sentence: Cats are douchebags. Adorable, fluffy only-eating-the-middle-of-their-food douchebags.
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Listen up guys, intel tells us someone within our ranks has been sharing secrets about which garbage cans are the best to hit to those damn cats! If I find out who the traitor is, there will be hell to pay!
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I've been working for FAP industries since I was a teenager but I've never drawn a single paycheck. Maybe I should give them a ring and get my dues?
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Life's eternal question and if you get it wrong it could mean a whole world of pain! but never fear, follow this helpful guide and you will be set for a life of bliss!
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