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True Story...
Tue 22nd May
There are so many logical fallacies and gaping plotholes that I really couldn't enjoy the Bible. I even tried the version with the unicorns in it and that was balls too. Try harder next time, God.
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Don't take drugs, think that if you do you'll start tripping and the world will become a scary place, well....look at this and try to think if 'maybe' someone sliped something into that can of soda you just drunk? Be afraid.
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You know all those total loser dweeboids who update their Facebook status on a Friday night and stuff. What wastes of space, right? Well, you know how someone would know that right? Loser.
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Because what could elevate your Christmas cheer more than painstakingly replacing every last light bulb on the christmas tree, one by one? Nothing. That's what.
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Worried that you might be cast out from the flock for owning a 'SO yesterday' iPhone 4 and haven't got enough cash to upgrade? Well fear not, for under one buck you can be the envy of all your lesser iPhone 4 buddies.
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So, this guy's life just happens to be in mortal danger, so what do you do? Panic? Scream? Weep for forgiveness from a dead god? Or do you jot it all down in your diary for posterity?
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If you're going to put an advert on the side of a bus it's probably best to have a think about the placement of the wheels and make sure that they don't end up looking like a pair of wazzo jubblies.
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I can't speak for the chicks or any other of you dudes out there, but i'm sewn into my clothes at the beginning of the year like a Victorian gentleman!
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Most people think tigers are a fearsome predator, and they are, but they have feelings too. Feelings for trees, but the path of true love never runs smoothly and this poor tiger knows that.
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Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. Behold the fabled Bred Helmet. "I am wearing a helmet made of bread. Your argument is invalid." Gimli the dwarf meets Subway.
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You had me at 'Jack'...Actually you had me right up to the bit where you mentioned a turban and i had to squint my eyes very hard to believe that this was all true....Still!?
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