Meanwhile, In China

Engrish is all the rage. If you haven't got things written on your chest in an incomprehensible foreign language then you're just not cool. Even if the words are off the back of a packet of preparation H. Who cares? It's cool.

I think it's pretty obvious that if you are lucky enough to bag one of these two, they're definitely a keeper. I mean, what better place to keep a nice cold beer handy could you possibly think of?

Only joking. You look like you're breaking out in rainbow acne. Looks like a clown finished up on your face. Christ, as if doing this to yourself wasn't bad enough now you take pictures of it? Not cool. Not cool at all.

Those goddamn body scanners, huh? Exposing all our flabby, transfat-ridden bodies. Must be a helluva job. Well here's a way to wind them up while sticking up for your rights: 4th amendment underwear. Take that Mr Security Man!

In their little cat worlds, kitty's have their own ways of travelling, similar to our own but more cat-like and daft. Here's a rundown of how they get around town (or your living room). From monorail to double decker. All aboard.

If you're a sufferer then you'll feel this guy's pain. It's a tough decision and whatever you do, you still won't be happy about it...

It's great to go out to dinner, you and your partner, bottle of vino, lovely steak, maybe some seafood to start. You can't help but have a good time, just don't try and reserve a table at the local crematorium.

Just what the hell was that crappy song by Rebecca Black all about? It wasn't just sent from hell to torture us to death by choking on hate. No, it was about the JFK assassination of course. Duh.

It's the newest craze sweeping Facebook. Duckface hunting! Go and find a picture of a give giving it a bit of duck face, and leave the commment "BANG". Then sit back and enjoy the lolz or hunt some more!

They might look big and tough in all that body armour and lycra, but they have feelings too ya'know? If this does happen make sure the guy taking pity isn't a dick, or a called 'A Johnson'.

The Big Bad Wolf and the Cool-Aid man. when there's a house that the wolf can't huff and puff and blow down, then it's time for the Cool-Aid catchphrase and clouds of brick dust. Someone should put this on a t-shirt.