Cats Don't Care

I doubt apathy is the reason it's not reacting to a total invasion of it's space. More like it is biding it's time and waiting for your concentration to be elsewhere. Cat owner, prepare to have cat shit on your bed!

You are never too young to battle the dark side, or have a drink - All it takes is years of training to master the effects of both!

You know you're a total geek if your loved ones get you a cake like this for your birthday and you actually compile it to make sure it's correct!

Just a quick word of warning; if you EVER meet a bear smoking a cigarette, run. Run like you're never run before. Get Forest Gump up in this mofo. You life depends on it.

Well, what else has this queen of tubby got to obsess over. Oh yeah, that's right, the buckets of chicken she devours like a lard hungry grease-vampire. At least Edward could feed on her for months!

It's difficult being a man, nearly dying every time you get flu, deciding where to pee when you're caught short and you're out and about, and trying to read your girlfriend's mood from her facial expressions.

At long last, the time has come to start using those corny one-liners again. this time you can deliver the final punchline if it goes wrong - GENIUS!

Kids, they are humanities last hope, lets hope they work hard and play HARDER! I really hope my children grow up to be as awesome as this.

Has this young lady got no shame? No humility? No dignity? What has the world come to when teenage women cavort their wares openly for any old pervert to come along get an eye full. Scandalous.

Walruses are large, terrifying beasts, who pull their behemoth bodies along, showing off their giant tusks that could rip through your body like a hit knife through butter. But killing them is easy, when you know how.

Every guy would like to think they look like Ryan Gosling while they are driving, but most don't - Usually the most of us fall into the category of a dork who drives a yellow mini. Still, one can hope.