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Always Take A Packed Lunch
It's a smart idea to always have some food with you in case you find yourself miles from anywhere and feel a little peckish. Make sure you wrap it up to keep it fresh, or better still, make sure it's still alive. Nom.
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You know all those total loser dweeboids who update their Facebook status on a Friday night and stuff. What wastes of space, right? Well, you know how someone would know that right? Loser.
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Some dogs just want to watch the world burn. This one however just wants a nice glass of Chianti and a cigar the width of his own leg. Too much to ask?
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Yep, it's just a bunch of pipes on an industrial estate, nothing to see here. Or is there...Looks to me like two iron giants are getting it on, even if their technique seems a little rusty. I'd tap it.
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When a shark has gotten this close, warning you buddy is kinda pointless, you should just try and get a verbal agreement that you can have all his stuff.
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Arachnophobia is a debilitating affliction. You don't even need to be a sufferer to feel it's sting. If your flatmate has it, you could come home to this.
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There are some things that just beg to be imbibed. An ice cold bottle of coke dripping with condensation on a hot day, for example. This is not one of those things. If you were really drunk you might try it for a bet though.
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We laugh because it's funny, we laugh because it's true. You can only imagine the number of greasy-haired pedervs that have to confront each other's sweat-beaded face when trying to entrap young kids. Maybe like 5 or so.
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Quite possibly the biggest reason to hate the appearance of the winter months, that and the fact that all the bikinis have gone into hibernation... If you are unemployed however, this will make no sense!
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You've probably seen a notice like this up before, next to an office printer, so if you want your coworkers to think you're a laugh riot, appropriate this gag as your own. Go on. I won't tell anyone.
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With summer approaching it means Hollywood bring out the big guns and the effects-laden action movies to try and get everyone out of the sun and into a darkened cinema. But you know you'll just illegally download them instead.
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